But what if I don’t?

Some of us have probably heard this phrase—“one day, you will understand”—again and again, or maybe even said it ourselves. This conversation-ender has all the trappings of a prescient and wise sage, sometimes with a humorous whiff of humility that admits the limits of one’s ability to explain, sometimes with a shroud of mysteriousness only worthy of an omniscient God. And while a treasure of wisdom is accumulated over the years, so much so that we can bet on it to overcome the foolhardy ideas of youngsters these days, we must be careful (still!) of (1) whether we really do have the wisdom there, and (2) the effect on others when we resort to this reverse-chronological snobbery. Is the wisdom we are presenting absolute? Do we have Biblical sanction? Do we have the right interpretation of the passage that affirms this wisdom? Because although we might have the wisdom and the scars and white hair to prove it, the Ancient of Days has the final say.

Dan. 7:9   “As I looked, thrones were placed, and the Ancient of Days took his seat; his clothing was white as snow, and the hair of his head like pure wool; his throne was fiery flames; its wheels were burning fire. 10 A stream of fire issued and came out from before him; a thousand thousands served him, and ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him; the court sat in judgment, and the books were opened.

Our children can appeal to that authority, others’ children can, and one day even babies that never made it out of the womb can. Even that classmate at a Bible study who made a valid point despite flaws in expression, or a person you were counseling who still felt that something was still not being understood. The person who made more efforts to argue for a difficult case humbly at the cost of their reputation. Critically, on issues of morality, we cannot think that we will get away with our sin by making it understandable and say: “one day you’ll understand”—because what they’ll understand is that you chose to do the sin while others chose not to, and you chose to rationalize it while others repented. You can’t “understand” anything that goes against God’s truth. The books of everything that was ever said and done will be opened, and God will make everyone “understand”: “And they shall know that I am the LORD.”

There is also the question of the attitude and what we convey to our hearers. When we give it the force of a mere suggestion, or use it on mutually agreed fact, it is not all that serious, but a friendly testimony saying: “You and I know that this is true, and I have personally experienced that so and so is true.” But when something is at stake and there is no agreement, then this phrase does not help. We all know the feeling when someone says: “Well, the times have progressed, and we should stop holding outdated notions. Stop being so passé.” This is the fallacy of chronological snobbery. It assumes that the latest is always the greatest just when that is the very thing that needs proving. Assuming that older wisdom is always better is the same thing, just in reverse (hence the term: reverse-chronological snobbery). We are no wiser if all we can do is say: “you will understand.” A better example would be to try hard to understand each other at the moment of disagreement. Put down the assumption that you deserve to be taken as authoritative without qualification, and show that you are willing to spend time to discuss something with your child or opponent. That makes you human and not an idol.